If you’ve been diagnosed with an advanced cancer, that usually means it can’t be cured. Sometimes with liver cancer, it can already be advanced when it’s first diagnosed, which of course is devastating.
Coping with your feelings
When you’re first told that your cancer can’t be cured, you are likely to feel overwhelmed. At first, you may find it difficult to take anything in. You don’t have to try and remember everything that’s been said. Doctors and nurses know that people get ‘brain freeze’ at times like these and won’t mind at all if they have to repeat information later. They may even suggest that you have another appointment in a few days, to talk through your questions, rather than trying to tell you everything in one go.
Do remember there may still be treatment to try and control the cancer, or slow it down. So when you can, it’s important to find out as much as you can about your situation from your doctor and specialist nurse. That means, finding out what they can offer and how things may develop.
Your feelings may seesaw – for example, feeling hopeless one minute and resolute the next. This is normal. It’ll take a while to come to terms with such big news. If things don’t settle down, or you feel you’re not coping, speak to your doctor or nurse about having some counselling. Talking about how you feel can help to put things in perspective. Bottling it all up won’t help you and will make it more difficult for others supporting you.
Telling others
One of the first things many people think of is how they’re going to tell family and friends that their cancer isn’t curable. Give yourself time. It’s entirely up to you who you tell, how much and when.
It’s worth thinking about what you want to say and how you’ll bring it up. You could write down what you want to get across – and then pick out what’s most important. This may be different for different people of course. Talking to children is something people often find particularly difficult. Macmillan publish a booklet on talking to children and teenagers that you may find helpful.
Of course this is difficult news for people to hear. They’re bound to be upset and so are you. It may not be something you’re used to, but it’s OK to feel upset and to cry. Being honest about how you feel will help others to support you. It may help to tell them that you need them to be honest too. They don’t have to put on a brave face for you.
Lots of us aren’t very good at talking about difficult things. It can feel hurtful if you try and talk to family or friends and they change the subject. Reassure them that you’re not looking for answers and you understand it’s hard knowing what to say.
If you find it difficult to talk to those close to you, counselling may help. Your counsellor can help you process your own feelings and give you an outlet for them. They can also help you to plan how to talk to others and get straight in your head what you need to say.
Looking to the future
Having an advanced cancer doesn’t mean you can’t plan and look ahead. Doing that can help you to feel positive and more in control. You still have a future and in reality, none of us know how long our future is going to be.
Think about what you’d like to do most. That may just be spending time with those closest to you. Or you may have an unrealised ambition? Some of the things on your bucket list may not be practical. But others will. You can still enjoy life. Your doctor will help you to stay as well as possible for as long as possible.
You may have good and bad days, so be prepared to be flexible when necessary.
Keeping as well as possible
Advanced liver cancer can have symptoms. Do tell your doctor or nurse. They’ll be able to help, even if they’re not related to the cancer. You won’t be at your best if you’re in pain or feeling sick. Doctors and specialist nurses can do a great deal to help manage symptoms these days. Symptom control is also called palliative or supportive care. There are lots of alternative painkillers and anti-sickness medicines. So if the first one you try doesn’t help, ask about trying another.
There are teams of symptom control specialists that your doctor can refer you to if any of your symptoms are proving difficult to manage. They can refer you to other services that may be able to help with physical or practical difficulties, such as district nurses or occupational therapists. Many are also trained in counselling techniques and can help to support you and your family while you work through your feelings.
Thinking ahead
It’s important for patients with advanced liver cancer to have the opportunity to talk about the impact of their condition, and to think about their wishes for the future.
Information in our Thinking ahead booklet will help you talk to your hepatology team, GP, relatives and carers about how you would like your future care to progress, and encourage you to start those conversations early, so you can make your preferred care options clear.
Download it here.
Other information that may help
If you know the type of liver cancer you have, there will be information in that section about treatment you may have for your cancer. We have information on treatment for
There are other pages in this section that you may find helpful, including
Content last reviewed: October 2022
Next review date: October 2025